How do you deal with the emotional impact of a book (on yourself) as you are writing the story?
I've written several books that have had a really heavy emotional impact on me while writing. One of the hardest stories to write was one that involved heavy mental and emotional abuse, which included gaslighting and manipulation. I try my best to make my characters as realistic and relatable as possible, and part of that process is researching and reading up on some of the aspects of their lives that I'm not familiar with. Just researching the topics, methods, and practices related to gaslighting alone was heartbreaking for me, just knowing that there are women out there who fall for these kinds of schemes every day. What was even harder to come to terms with was the realization that I too have fallen for these types of manipulation as well.
When creating and writing about characters who are highly manipulative, one thing I realized I had to do was step away from the book occasionally to distance myself from the book's trauma. We, as authors, relate so closely with our characters, and it often becomes all too easy to internalize what's going on with the characters we've created. They're like our children, our babies, and they tend to hold places in our hearts. We hate to watch them go through the trials and tribulations our stories put them through, but they must for the sake of the book. That doesn't mean we have to go through it with them, though. If, at any point, I became overwhelmed with the emotions of the book--and this was the case a few times--I stepped away. I put the book to the side and worked on other things to clear my mind and reel my emotions back in.
Writing itself is a form of therapy for me. It helps me to clear my mind, and I frequently use my writing to help me through situations, but when writing is what's taking an emotional toll on me, I have to have another way to cope, something to help me through the book's rough times. Usually, this help comes in the form of reading or completing diamond paintings. I've found that journaling also helps incredibly.
One thing I highly suggest to all authors is finding a way to separate the emotions of the book from your own emotions. It's like the saying, "learn how to leave work at work." It's definitely easier said than done, but we must learn how to leave the emotions of our characters on the page and avoid allowing them to bleed over into our real, everyday lives.
Above all else, I reiterate: take a break. Step away. Do this as many times as you need to maintain your sanity. For those who write dark romances, thrillers, etc., those works that deal with a certain dark state of evil, please be sure to take care of your own mental health because these books can be especially taxing. Happy writing!!